Judy is Janice's best friend. Janice is Bernice's sister, who is married to Tony's cousin Bill, who is the guy that has one leg longer than t'other, so has to walk with one foot in the gutter in order to appear level headed. Judy is the blonde that everyone says is an easy lay, but that's only because her hair is the colour it is and we all know there's no truth in that. I happen to know she wears a wig on Wednesdays because Gary said so and he should know.
Well, there's been a nasty accident in the lower field. Judy's been crushed by a bull. Sid said he was examining her lower field before it happened and there was nothing untoward with it then, although there were signs that someone had been there before him. The bull crushed her against a tree...so the story goes. David said he doesn't blame the bull, and very few locals said they felt the same on many occasions, even if they've not actually got away with it.
The bull belongs to Bessie's brother Nathan who likes to dress in pink panties whilst the bull drags a sleigh carrying old Joe dressed as Santa. It's none of my business, but Joe seems an odd one...he's not quite right in the head if you know what I mean. I know for a fact that he was doing something funny with the pickles at Polly's Pantry last summer. I wouldn't have minded myself, but when that enormous pickle was protruding from his fly front last Thursday several ladies fainted with shock...them being sensitive like...which meant they were all over prostrated on the floor and being in the way I didn't get a chance to grab it!