Now I don't usually follow stuff on Facebook 'cos it's full of filth...but as it happens I did take a glance t'other day and found a bit of gossip about a couple of locals.
It was him saying that he and Chris had been bonking on the open top bus! Well...I know the bloke...he's one of those that deals in steel girders or something of that sort...but I think they are out of date now that Viagra is on the market. So he's probably bankrupt, though he seems well set up. He's got a car anyway. But then, lots of 'em have cars don't they? There's a whole group of 'em parked in the woods...homeless folk they are. They piss in the pond and shoot rabbits. I told Linda to watch out for them with their guns because she's always raving about her rampant rabbit and I know she takes it in the woods for a bit of exercise. I'm sure it'd get shot if they saw it.
To be fair...Alan's not just doing stuff with steel. Chris says he's handy with a block of wood and recently made Julian a support so his pride and joy could be lifted off the floor.
Anyway, I happen to know that Alan wasn't bonking Chris on top of the bus...not that night anyway. Far from it! Chris was at home reading a book about DIY brain surgery. She wants to get on in life. She reckons that with a few qualifications she can work from home crocheting suspension bridges. I told her it'd be a bit lonely working from home like that, but she said she's thought about it and will increase her friendship circle by getting a kit so she can clone her best friends which will save time and that way...she'll know exactly what she's getting. Resourceful lady!
Buy the book
No...Chris was at home reading, you can take my word for it. Alan was out and about alright...but far from bonking on a bus he as raving it up at a séance! Clearly the carpenter from Nazareth wasn't attracted by his singing or he'd have be whisked off to heaven and no messing!
Singalong